If You Died Today

I hear so many people talk about regrets and would a, could a, should a moments in their lives. What is odd about the times where I hear these regrets mentioned, they are normally around times of little importance in the scheme of things. Such as "You didn't order the large piece of pie? You are going to regret that later." Or, "You didn't download the latest album on the day that it came out, you are going to regret that." Or "I really regret not going to the party last night, everybody was there."

When you are laying on your deathbed, these will probably not be moments you will look back upon with regret. In fact these will be moments you probably will not remember next week, or next year. In fact there are very few things like that you will ever really look back on with regret. Although it would be amusing to hear. "In my life, my greatest regret was not buying that silk tie I saw on sale that one day back in 2010.. gasp.. sigh."

But what about the things you will actually regret? I was thinking about this the other day when I heard a Doctor on TV talking about different ways to treat depression and other stress related illnesses. What they never discussed was making small changes, everything revolved around medications and therapy. Which made me think "why am I happy and they are not, it cannot always be a physiological issue." Then it hit me. I have tried to live my life without acquiring regrets. Don't get me wrong, I have missed out on things in my life, but what I mean is the things I can control. Let me give you some ideas of what I mean.

• Watch a sunrise or sunset, without thinking about anything negative, life is fleeting. Look at the amazing colors, feel the wind on your face. It doesn't matter where you are when it happens. Take time to REALLY watch it happen. You will never regret watching too many sunsets.
• Every once in awhile get popcorn and a drink at the movies. Yes it's over priced, yes it might make you have to use the bathroom half way through. Who cares? It's just a movie. It can be part of the experience.
• Go to coffee shop, or food court at the mall, and just watch the people. Try and figure out what their story is. Make one up. No, I didn't say judge them or critique them. Just watch them and enjoy the experience.
• Laugh at yourself. Spill your drink, trip over the coffee table, slip on the ice, get a food stain on your shirt. Laugh. It takes more work to get angry or embarrassed when things go wrong than to laugh about it. Keep this in mind the next time you child spills their drink too. Your child will respect you more when you laugh with them when they make meaningless mistakes instead of them getting in trouble.
• Learn something new. No mater how large or how small. Doesn't matter if it's a formal class or just learning the correct way to use a stud finder. Learn how to do it. Knowledge is not just power, it also empowers. If you learn enough small things, you can do something big with it.
• Listen to a child and see the world through their eyes once in while. You were young once. So many things you take for granted you once looked at with amazement. Don't be afraid to be a child yourself every once in awhile.
• Look at a book or a magazine you would never buy. That's right go to a book store and open that vegan cook book you would never buy. Take a small journey into a world that you will probably never experience. Maybe you will find something new that you actually would enjoy
• Turn off your cell phone. Not just at the theater, not because you are in a meeting, not because a sign tells you too. Just turn it off to turn it off.  For day, for a weekend. Leave it at home and go to the park. Leave it at home and go people watching at the mall. Go out with your friends and require everyone to leave their cell phone at home for the night. Be in the experience for once.
• Talk to your waitstaff in a restaurant. No, not at them, talk to them. Ask them about their day. Hell you might even make a new friend.
• Be late once-in-awhile. No not for everything, just occasionally. Just don't stress about being late some times.
• Call someone you have not spoken too in years. You both have a lot of catching up to do.
• Drugs and Alcohol are a poor replacement to really being happy. I didn't say never drink, but if that is the only time you are happy, you need to make some changes.
• Stress about things that mater. Your child being sick, a sucking chest wound, falling down a elevator shaft. Your dishwasher not working is not important enough to stress about, neither is a fender bender, a ripped pair of pants, or a broken glass. Use some perspective.
• Stop looking at all the negatives. A cut finger heals, a broken glass can be replaced, the world is not out to get you. Things go wrong in life, but if you spend all of your time concentrating on negative things, then you miss all of positive things you are ignoring.
• Never put off till tomorrow something you could have done last week, and only takes you a few seconds to do.
• Occasionally spoil yourself. Whether it's a cup of take out coffee instead of making it at home, or taking a day off work to just watch movies at home. Take time to do something for you every now and then.
• Hug your friends and family. Yes, even in public. No one regrets giving or receiving too many hugs.
• Remind others of their good points. Complements are free. Sometimes a simple "I like your shoes" can be the difference between and good and a bad day for someone you know.
• Never be afraid to say "I love you."

Missing a party, or a concert, or even a job interview is not your life. It's a small moment. Once it passes there is no reason to regret it. Not enjoying the small amount of time you have walking around this great big planet is not only regretful, it's almost criminal. Now, this is not for everyone. There are people who have actual chemical conditions in their brains that lead to them being depressed. They do make treatments for that. BUT that is a REAL condition.

There are people who have lost everything, their family and everything the hold dear in the world. They need the help of others to get them through that point in their lives. These are not the people I am talking about. What about you? Why are you so sad?

What is REALLY wrong? Is it something you can change just by looking at the world around you in another light? Go do it.

Start with baby steps.

Make mistake.

Laugh.

If you want to regret something, regret not loving and living your life earlier.

Don't regret never getting started.